Sometimes I think I don’t have an eating disorder but then I see that I ate too much and proceed to consume half a pound of artificial sweetener that

6 years

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Sometimes I think I don’t have an eating disorder but then I see that I ate too much and proceed to consume half a pound of artificial sweetener that makes me s*** like crazy. That makes my head pound and my vision blurry and it feels like being very painfully drunk. The next day I s*** like crazy and I eat too much again so naturally I have a burning desire to consume that same amount of sweetener again so that the food won’t have time to digest. This is when I realize I actually have an eating disorder and it has to stop but I have an intense fear of gaining weight so this stupid cycle will simply continue until I get myself killed. I already lost my period and I can’t get up without being dizzy but yk what it’s worth it because the skinny feels so good

New Confession

i went to pune in 2013, this chanakya mandal pariwar sadashiv peth, are currupt people of bjp, i stood against them , then i came back to latur my hometown, bjp have sent vivekanand swami named person , who lives near my house now. came here to kill me,he killed my father and my dog. please kill avinash dharmadhiri and vivekanad swami , master mind is modi, if possible also kill devendra fadnvis, narendra modi , and mohan bhagwat.

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My wife knew i was a recovering s** addict when we dated, when we married, and knew that it stemmed from childhood maternal molestation many years ago. She knows i will not act out, that i love her too much to do that to her, and she knows to the degree any non s** addict can how exhausting the onslaught of compulsive intrusive s***** thoughts are. But she still rejects my sincere well motivated desire for surgical or chemical castration and i cannot understand why. We have a platonic relationship so it would be zero loss to either of us.