she wants to change things in the relationship and im scared. im not ready for these kinds of things, and we've done nothing but fight for two weeks. i

6 years

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she wants to change things in the relationship and im scared.
im not ready for these kinds of things, and we’ve done nothing but fight for two weeks.
i feel like she’s hiding so much from me.

its like every time she gets a message from one of our friends now i feel afraid that she’s sexting them and moving on from me without saying anything or bothering to just break it off.

i feel like a horrible human being. i feel like it won’t be long til she breaks up with me. and after three years of love suddenly being thrown away because i dont want to share her with anyone else?
i think i’m going to kill myself when it happens.
i just dont know what way to do it.

New Confession

Matty you’re a retard and your band f****** s****

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My wife knew i was a recovering s** addict when we dated, when we married, and knew that it stemmed from childhood maternal molestation many years ago. She knows i will not act out, that i love her too much to do that to her, and she knows to the degree any non s** addict can how exhausting the onslaught of compulsive intrusive s***** thoughts are. But she still rejects my sincere well motivated desire for surgical or chemical castration and i cannot understand why. We have a platonic relationship so it would be zero loss to either of us.