All kidding aside, If you were me would you want to die? I’m tired of people telling me that suicide is selfish. My doctor gave me a lecture this morning, he said think about the people that you leave behind?But what if there really is no one? He said well what about the person who would have to clean the mess up? Why should I care though ? Particularly when they are paid. Does it really make me any more selfish than someone with terminal cancer who doesn’t want to live that way anymore ? Our society would never force someone like that to exist in pain… so why should someone like me before is to exist in isolation? My state has an assisted suicide law but I can’t take it advantage of it because my Illness is mental. I feel like that’s so unfair, because what I have BPD is not going to go away. The only thing you can learn how to do is cope, and maybe learn to hide it better …. but those feelings, those emotional extremities will always be there. It’s why I am alone now. It’s why I can’t keep close relationships were friends despite wanting it desperately. Why should I be sentenced to a life like this ? I’m angry my doctor won’t sign the papers. People here who are terminally ill get a three pill combination from the pharmacy… They take it, at a time of their own choosing, and they go peacefully to sleep and don’t wake up. It’s a painless and peaceful death. Why Don’t I deserve the same dignity that they get? Why should I be forced to do it myself, and in a way that could cause horrific pain or that may not even work , possibly risking even further disability . It’s not f****** fair. My whole life has been painful and horrible why do I deserve a death like that too. Well you don’t have a terminal illness they say. Well a personality disorder is for life so yeah Kinda. I will always be messed up to some extent why can’t it be my choice to decide I don’t want to try to “cope” anymore? I’ve been to three doctors basically pleading for mercy and every single one has refused to sign. I’m tired of this. You’ve seen my posts, if you were me would you feel any differently? Why can’t that save humanity and that will extend to me too there is no hope here. I don’t want to live a life in isolation. I’m tired of always being the person that’s on the outside looking in. I don’t belong anywhere no one f****** I’m tired of this. You’ve seen my posts, if you were me would you feel any differently? Why can’t that save humanity and that will extend to me too there is no hope here. I don’t want to live a life in isolation. I’m tired of always being the person that’s on the outside looking in. I don’t belong anywhere no one f****** wants me . I’m never going to have a normal life with close friends, just people who tolerate me or only know a fake version of me so I can’t get too close. I’m never gonna have a family. This isn’t living we’re even like a phone call is a rare treat from someone I’m tired of it Do you think I’ll get in trouble if I just forge those papers myself? I don’t care anymore