Thank you for the kind advice below. I think one of the hardest truths that I’ve had to swallow is realizing that there wouldn’t have been a friendship in the first please have not made them feel sorry for me. Not intentionally, but at one point I was even worse than this. They tried to do something kind and I made it into something else. I sort of get the point that everyone is making, I think that I’m making myself look pathetic and I am. Sometimes I just get so lonely I don’t know what to do.

I don’t really think it’s a question or not of being worthy of forgiveness, and I’m not saying I am …maybe not . It was that I was trying to maybe save a friendship that really wasn’t. I mean obviously if somebody cared it wouldn’t be this hard to talk, or they wouldn’t takeoff always after an argument. They wouldn’t always be looking for the next best thing. I’m not saying this is a criticism it just is. Things never would’ve gotten to this point if I would’ve tried to force something to happen that maybe shouldn’t of tried I just wanted a friend so badly and wanted then to like me . They didn’t .

Ouch