This guy I was going to f*** around with before I met my boyfriend texted me and damn. My brain is running amok. This guy has his s*** together. House, car, smart, made 6 figures last year, funny, a great listener, big d***, and he really loved to eat me out. I wanted him so bad and he backed away at the time due to s*** going on in his life. He was actually my first kiss. Then the impossible happened and I met someone.
My boyfriend is about 8 years younger than me. I’m aware that our relationship looks like a slowly sinking ship to anyone that knows enough. He’s an alcoholic, isn’t working and his temper and anxiety take control a lot. I think he lost a lot of friends due to it before I met him and it’s sad… He’s a good person who really lost his way. He’s outgoing, funny, clever, passionate, and loyal. He enjoys physical labor [it’s a good outlet for him and keeps him fit] and his old job was just that with benefits and weekends off. He loves the outdoors and animals. I feel like he would be a great partner but he has to grow up faster so that we don’t grow apart. If he won’t commit to a therapist and meds [I suspect that he’s bipolar] then I don’t see us going anywhere. It breaks my heart. I’ve come to love him so much. There’s just still a lot missing in our relationship.
I’m not a cheater, that’s not the point of this. I just can’t stop comparing what I could have vs what I do have, and need to remember what I will have if I support him when he needs someone the most. He still hasn’t seen me at my worst and I truly wonder if he can handle it.
