It’s not pretend I’m devastated and it’s not because you’re filling a void goddamnit I still miss you even when I have people around I know you don’t feel the same and that’s fine honestly I’m used to it but I really did adore you that was true I’m so angry at myself what happened just everything we never even got to try to talk about it I never heard from you again
Literally no matter what I do I can only distract myself for so long and then eventually start missing you again we will be OK for a little bit and then it’ll hit me again it’ll come in waves it’s horrible I don’t know what to do I take medication and then we literally have gone to therapy up to a couple times a week I forced myself to meet people I exercise they stay busy I mean and I still no matter what I do I still miss you it’ll still hit me when I slow down I don’t want to still be posting here anymore ….Or basically just having panic attacks about it we’re seeing something at Walmart that makes me think of you and I’ll like literally like I have a tear coming out of my eye I miss you that much and I know if it sorry if it seems weird because you probably don’t feel the same I don’t know why…I know you don’t want to be my friend that’s fine I mean it’s disappointing but it’s fine I just I guess I kind of was hoping It might be possible to at least have some closure to be able to talk so I really can put this behind me like I’d really like to have peace with you. You meant so much to me I’m not trying to stay somewhere you don’t want me to be I promise I just don’t know what else to do I miss you so much