I don’t have the ability to hate you no matter how hard I try I guess the best thing I can try to do is let go with love. I promise you I will try to figure out a solution to the problem. I’m gonna try to figure it out things I can do to avoid reaching out to you or even posting here… I promise I’m gonna solve the problem I want you to be happy and I feel like this is the only thing standing in the way. I can work with my therapist maybe just to know maybe brainstorm or just alternate things I can do or a buddy I can call when I want to call you I will figure it out I promise I don’t know how yet but I know it’s a problem that has to be fixed. Maybe I can convince myself you passed away or something I don’t know I really don’t know how to stop missing you or wanting you in my life so much but I will figure it out I promise. Please believe me I’m gonna fix this I want you to be happy. Also please stop hacking my s***. You can’t sit there and scream do you want me gone and then be in all my stuff you know . That’s super creepy too no offense. I figured you always did it because you’re so angry I stuck around but I promise I’m going to solve the problem I’m working on it OK. You are going to be happy