I think a lot about how bad it would be if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, how devastating it would be for my family. If I don’t wake up in the morning, I think it will damn near kill my parents. My sister ran away about two years ago and she lit a fire in our community that hasn’t really been put out completely. How do we tell people? How do we tell people something that is just so unfathomable and can also completely ruin our image. I guess an image is completely fictional, but you probably get the drift. After my sister running away I am quite literally the last hope for my parents, and it f****** s****. I was a good student, but a 2.6 gpa in the first semester of my junior year of high school has really made me question whether or not I ever was. With the coronavirus shutdown, I have struggled to do even a single assignment for school to get my again s***** grades up. I can’t help but think about a miserable future. A future that is so highly possible. I don’t want to fail in life, but I always imagine it happening. I dream more about failure than I do about accomplishing actual dreams. It haunts me. I don’t know what to do. I have no idea on the first thing I should do to get something together.