i should spend more time with my parents before it is too late but i did not. i isolated myself. i should treat nicely to my older brothers and sisters but i did not. i should not think negatively about my friends when they are not replying even tho they were online but i did. i should not complain when i have everything more than enough. but why can’t i just love myself and stop comparing with the others? nobody’s perfect BUT f*** no. myself won’t allow that. i want everything to be perfect. is this normal? please, please tell me everyone is suffering this thought too. i hate that i am the only who felt this way. s****. s****. living is hard. why we have emotions. i am not good in expressing myself. i always have so much to say but i am afraid and shaking whenever i have the thought to speak out in class. many people said i always talk in my sleep. i guess i’m thinking too much. i hate it. i always said i love myself but i actually did not.

i’m quite pretty even tho i am not skinny. my skin is fair and flawless. i have naturally wavy dark brown hair. my features are not common in my place and i always get attention from strangers. i have talent in drawing and math, i won many competition since kid. i went to elite high school. i have second highest cgpa in my batch. my final assessment always received the highest mark thus my educator knows me. i have protective brothers and sisters. i’m the youngest one, not gonna lie, i always get what i want from my parents. BUT WHY I DIDNT FEEL HAPPY?

many people said that it is human’s nature to want more and more.

but i just want to feel happy with what i have. i want to be more grateful and live happily. but how?