7 years
x
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I cheated on my first, serious ex boyfriend.
I’d broken up with him once prior because felt like I’d lost my feelings for him and I also thought I had feelings for someone else so I broke it off with him. I entered a relationship with the other guy and we dated for about 5 months but I realised that I’d made a mistake and broke up with him. Not long after I got back with my first boyfriend and we dated again for another 7 months before my anxiety about us came back and I started feeling like I was losing my love for him again.
I went out one night with my work friends and towards the end of the night I made a stupid, drunk mistake and had s** with someone I worked with. It was weak and idiotic of me, the single most stupid thing I’ve done in my life so far.
I didn’t tell my boyfriend what had happened because I knew it would destroy him, but I broke up with him the next day. I couldn’t tell him, I was so scared of causing him even more pain, I was also ashamed.
He deserves to know, but I don’t know if I should tell him. We haven’t talked since we split 8 months ago.
I got what I deserve, the person I cheated with gave me HSV-2 genitally, so now I’m as physically disgusting as I mentally feel. I’ll never feel clean again and I’ll never be able to have a special someone again, just like I deserve.
My anxiety and self consciousness have skyrocketed, I feel repulsive.
I don’t know if I can recover from this or if I even deserve to recover from this.
The fact that I could do that to someone I care so much about, kills me. I hate myself so much.
I think about my ex nearly every day, I know I shouldn’t. He was everything to me for nearly 3 years, he helped me develop who I am and was the best thing that ever happened to me. How could I do this to him?
I don’t know how to move on, I don’t know what to do.

New Confession

My wife and I are small in stature, I’m 5’4″ and she is 4’10” weighs 78 lb . When she was going to have our second child the doctor sent us to King Edward Memorial Hospital in Perth because our baby in her 8th month had wrapped the umbilical cord around her neck. We met an interesting huge black man who was in Neonatal care in the US there who invited us to dinner at the Hostel he stayed at. He rubbed my wife’s tummy while talking after we ate, after while she sat on his lap. It turned me on to seeing her so small and pregnant so close to his enormous c0ck. While we stayed close to the hospital we visited him a few times per week. Each time feeling her tummy while she sat on his lap his hand drifted closer to her gnitals and b00bs. We went to his room when she was 9 months and three days, he said when she was that close to delivering she could take even his c0ck easily. I said “Baby you used to tell me you would like to know what a big c0ck was like, he is offering you that chance.” she said “What if you aren’t enough after I do it?” . I just said something like we’ll figure it out I want to see you at you’re best. It didn’t take more the 5 minutes after the conversation he had licked her pu55y and started stuffing 10″ of c0ck the size of a redbull can inside her. She couldn’t take the whole thing till she 0rgasmed 3 minutes into s** that lasted25 minutes the first time. While his 1oad was running out of her and he was sucking her nipple5 I encouraged her to take advantage of the situation and do it again. They let me record the next time on my iPhone , 34 minutes, we had a*** s** right after. I didn’t know they had s** while I slept till the next morning when I awoke and she was sleeping with him. When Our daughter was born three days later she said they had s** 11 times and she wanted to do it again before we went home. I agreed to more of their alone time. When Our daughter was two, my wife asked me for permission to be bred by him. I said if I can but a whole redbull can inside you then okay. She couldn’t take more than 1/2 when we started but she could when he bred her 4 months later, we have a 3 year old b******** son, my wife already s**** him off.

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