I am utterly disgusted with myself. I started feeling this way a week ago, since I have had more time to reflect on myself and my actions due to being at home. There’s not a single thing about me that I’m proud of. I’m a liar, a bad friend, a bad daughter, unkind, selfish, jealous, ugly, dumb, impatient, and on top of it all I’m hyper-sensitive and dramatic. I start crying whenever I drop something. The worst part is that I can’t just move on from these feelings. I have no motivation to change myself, even though I know I really need to. I can’t bring myself to actually make an effort to do anything besides eat, procrastinate, and stay up late. I hate myself so much. I never take time to do anything good. I can’t be good. All I can do is mess up, cry about it, and then cry about how I act like a 2-year-old whenever any minor inconvenience comes my way. It feels like life is trying to help me out by giving me baby steps with which to grow, but all I can do is cry and look the other way. I avoid my problems, that much I know, and I do want to change myself because I know the way I act is negatively affecting the people around me, but I just can’t do anything about it. I figure that if I’m not gonna do anything about it, then deep down I don’t really want to change.