So growing up, even earliest school years, I was a classic t****. Skinny, pale, but ridiculously endowed flaccid or erect. It always got me stared at and always made me very fearful/nervous in situations like public restrooms or pool/gym locker rooms because I did not understand. When I was in mid teens and learned what my obscenely sized anatomy was for, I was uncomfortable and awkward about it, and while yes it was an object of lust, it was also a serious problem because it was too large to be comfortable for a woman (partially because of length but definitely because of girth). So the period of time I tried to be proud of it because it would attract a woman, it was also something that became a huge negative because it was a bucket list thing to women (wanting to try a large c*** but learning it was brutal or painful), as well as because none of them was interested in anything but the c***, not interested in me beyond what was between my legs.

Flash forward 30 years. For a number of medical reasons I experienced significant penile and testicular atrophy. I am literally the smallest in both departments I have ever seen. It was a big blow to self esteem for years because I felt I had lost the only thing that women were interested in (while still for myself finding it obscene). Today I went to a new gymn after not going for years since the atrophy. The moment of truth was the 25 foot walk to the community showers naked, and bizarrely enough, it was the most comfortable and natural I have ever felt naked in front of others. Yes, there was still staring because the average 5 year old probably shows more than I do, but it was probably the most natural beautiful moment I have ever had naked unless alone outdoors in remote woods.