I want to book a fortnight off in the autumn time, when the leaves are falling and the temperature is mild and there are some clouds in the sky and the breeze is light.

It’s orange, red, yellow and auburn. It smells of pumpkins, spiced apples and the leaves are still shedding their leaves so when you walk you can hear that crisp and crackling and crunching sound.

Book a cabin that has a fireplace inside and outside. Take a week’s supply of food and drink. Hire a dog or actually have a pet by then. Don’t tell anyone ever I am and just leave. No pestering, no bothering, just complete silence, solitude, the whisper of the wind, the song of birds, the delicate trickle of a nearby stream and the jumping of hares or gazelles.

What am I going to do? Why am I going? I’m taking all the books and films:

1. Harry Potter
2. Game of Thrones
3. Lord of the Rings

And finish them again with coffee, warm socks and a crackling fire ON MY OWN.

What a f****** dream. Let’s make it happen.