7 years
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Dear Biong biong

I wrote a long letter. Failed to save it when I closed the file suddenly earlier Haha

When I am with you.. Time flies… I go into a state of flow and bliss. Enjoyed the meal.. The chatting.. The strawberry cheese Haha

I had many dreams and idealistic views of a relationship… With my partner for 20 years… Realising that my dreams where mine alone and my partner was never interested or bothered broke my heart. It left a hole..
Unfilled… Till now.. You have gradually filled the hole.

You told me I can last till 60… I want intimacy with you to last till I die.. I want to make love till our intimacy language changes..can be. Hug… A kiss.. A Comfortable silence.. Watching TV together…. Or going to service.. Together… When you no longer want to make love. I want to be impotent. There are a thousand ways of intimacy. When your monster in your cave dies… My little brother will die with it.

I was thinking about how to incentivise you to quit drinking or reduce your alcohol intake earlier before you texted me… I also thought of the day when someone important to you is gone.. I will stay with you through this period… If you are still young.. Below 50.. Financially stable and attractive I should not obstruct you in finding your soul mate for life… That thought.. Caused my heart to bleed. So please take good care of the love of your life…

Haha but if you are older and no market value I will hang around. Haha.

I read your thoughts.. I want to hug you when you cry…
.. I feel the same.. I am not good in multi tasking… I can only get intimate with one person. I struggle to split my heart..love

New Confession

When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.

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