It’s so hard for me to wake up everyday and try to not think about dying.
I wanted to before when I was young but I know dying isn’t good and it’s painful. Then I heard my mother talk about how it was ok for me to die since she had two other children, my siblings, and it crushed me to bits. I cried that night the longest and the most tears I had. My own mother just said it was ok for me to die. Isn’t that great?
Since then, I am struggling each day. I need to keep on thinking or else my thoughts come creeping back again. I haven’t been checked by a psychologist, I want to, but I don’t know anymore.
