is there a cure for being bitter?

please help me
why do i hate everyone and everything
i just want to die, i want it all to stop.

but some days are better than others

i hate myself and my life and everyone in it

this is just a sickness for which there is no known cure….
what am i supposed to do? Find god?

F*** I’m just so done with this all

I see other people who are happy and I Hate them because I envy them.
I will never be normal.

What am I going to fake it? Fake being happy and normal for the rest of my life?????? I can’t just do that anymore I’ve done it for so long
I am so tired and i haven’t even really lived, I havent even really worked or been places or seen things except for hatred
I am so tired of hatred and humour and Jokes
because sarcasm stems from the real
I hate that I am sarcastic I hate that I dont take myself or anyone or anything seriously
I need to do something But I just dont want to
I am so tired and afraid of living a pathetic and hateful and disgusting horrible life
I dont have the balls to slit my wrists and Im tired of throwing this pity party for myself