Back in 2014 there was this girl I met on the dating app OKCupid and basically we ended up having this one day stand. Met up with her after I got off work and drove out to her place for literally just a quick f*** and that was all.

She had long black hair, glasses, a cocked/lazy eye, average/short height, and was obese with a slow personality that you would find in somebody that is bellow average mentally. She wasn’t “retarded” but was for sure just a simple country gal.

I would say about 3 months later I ended up getting a text message outta nowhere from her and saying that she was pregnant with my kid. At first I was trying to give all the excuses that “I pulled out”, “You told me you were not on your period”, etc. But sure enough it was mine because I knew she would have not slept with anyone else (being the way she looked and mentally was) plus it was one of those “gut feeling” things that you just have when somebody is right.

Well I did the worst thing and basically just insulted her and backed out of all of it by just trying to keep making more and more excuses till she finally just quit talking to me and I pushed her outta my mind enough to where I never had thought about her again…
Until 2018…

Idk how or why but someway, at the start of Nov I began thinking about her again and all the way until now, I have had panic attacks, massive depression, and all over just horrible feelings about what I did in abandoning my kid. Honestly I would do anything to be back with her and try to make up for lost time in wanting to be with my child. I know I did wrong and I fucked up, but I wanna try to make things right.

I will admit that I am married now but honestly, the divorce would be well worth it if I knew that I could be with my son/daughter for the first time and actually be able to raise them with my baby mama.