I went through this a few years ago and felt guilty as hell for doing the same thing. After some therapy, I started to understand why we act this way. It’s a type of coping mechanism. It allows us to work through the emotion and the situation while being in control and knowing there’s a way out of it if need be. It helps “take the control back” so to speak, that we lost in our assaults. You’re not worthless and you’re not crazy for wanting to do it!
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Always remember that it’s not your fault and you don’t deserve to be hurt at all. My thoughts go out to you.
I’m so sorry to hear what you went through.
Loiz next
It’s because you were broken against your will. It makes you worthless now.
I went through this a few years ago and felt guilty as hell for doing the same thing. After some therapy, I started to understand why we act this way. It’s a type of coping mechanism. It allows us to work through the emotion and the situation while being in control and knowing there’s a way out of it if need be. It helps “take the control back” so to speak, that we lost in our assaults. You’re not worthless and you’re not crazy for wanting to do it!