i am actually sick of my life at this moment. when you have the condition i do they tell you to see a doctor but oh i am one so i guess it’s okay and they tell you to sleep well and eat well but guess what residents don’t get the luxury and they tell you that you can deal with this but what the f*** do they know do they live it every day? did i make a mistake maybe i thought i was strong enough but i’m not. maybe i worked my whole goddamn life to achieve something that is too much for me. my entire life is a lie.

maybe god doesn’t want me to stay alive for much longer. it’s getting harder and harder to believe that the universe doesn’t want me gone one way or another