I can’t even begin to describe my feelings for you. I know I should admit this personally, but I feel… intense, if that makes sense. How can I say anything? How can I even think about confessing? How do I admit that I dream about you all night, every night? How do I admit that that I love you more than I can stand to bear? How do I admit that a day, an hour, a minute doesn’t go by without you flooding into my mind, and bringing on a torrent of fear, excitation, anger, joy, miserablness, and every other feeling blended together into a toxic mixture that I’ve accepted to be only one thing… Love. Sweet, horrible love. Just thinking about it throws my heart into a raging river of constant insanity, filling it with sugar, spice, and everthing horrible and nice. You are the bane of my existence! Yet… you are the sole reason of my birth… *sigh*. I haven’t seen you for a long time now. I’m going to admit right here that I used to m*********, and do you know, I did it looking at pictures of all the cute, hot, and adorable people I knew (online, of course). I did a lot. Nonetheless, I did not once, not even think about doing it once, looking at you. I did not want to taint your good name. You are not hot, cute, adorable, s***, gorgeous, or even pretty. There is one way I can describe you, beautiful. You are the only thing I have ever laid eyes upon that is beautiful. Your beauty outweighs everything, even nature itself, by a longshot. Looking at a photo of you, I felt a pain. There you were, right in front of me, yet I could not have you. It made me feel horrible. There were points where people started to think I was becoming depressed. I hid it, eventually. I hid everything, and I bottled it up inside of me. I even kept it from you. Now that you’re not with me, I know that I made a mistake, one of my many mistakes. I took you for granted, I took the wonderful honor of your presence for granted, and I squandered it trying to unsuccessfully impress you, trying to make you love the being that I am not. I should have been honest, I tried to be every person I knew to you except the most important. Me. I only ruined your perception of me. Who knows how many times I sat in my room crying, crying for you? I would give my life for you. But now, I feel happy. I feel as if I’m getting a coming of a second chance. I recently found out that I will be near you, after all this time alone! There is a pit in stomach and my thoughts for you are cycling through it. I thought I knew what love was from first crush. But as I met you, I learned more and more for a long time. I know that I have never felt this way before. I can and will not find a girl like you. So, when I finally see you again, I will try my best to muster up the courage to release it all, let everything go. I won’t be putting it up on a website. I will be telling you for real. It will all be just me and you. You are beautiful. I love you.