I want to lull myself over my weight. I used to be so skinny and athletic before my major depression hit. I feel like I’ll never be skinny again. I fantasize about taking a knife and carving pieces off of myself. Therapy hasn’t helped. I know people hate me and judge me the second they look at me, but don’t know my struggle. I don’t eat worse than anyone else I know but the fat just sticks and it’s all in my belly. I look disgusting and I wish someone would just hit me with their car or shoot me so I wouldn’t have to deal with the shame anymore, because I’m too cowardly to kill myself.