I feel like an absolute burden to my family.
I can’t enjoy one single day or second in my life without getting shitted on by family.
Even when I’m just happy about something that went on during my school day or even my birthday, they all find a way to turn that moment into a horrible and dark day.

Not one of my birthdays have been a success, my siblings always find a way to make it about themselves, get into a huge fight with each other, and then walk out before my birthday dinner has started.

Even when I’ve have had to dealt with s***** people on school and finally stood my ground, they turn it against me as if I was the one in wrong when the other person clearly was.

For example, a teacher I had for 1 semester had made sly comments about me behind my back and when I told my mom about it,
Her response was “well she probably didn’t even mean it like that, your friends are just telling you lies”

Even if they were lying to me, it’s horrible for your to not even support your daughter

Now the burden part comes in some many ways.

I forget to do one thing
Failure

I don’t know how to do something
Then learn how to do something in your damn life

Im going to do something myself
No you can’t do it, I’ll do it

And then even when I forget where I put things, they always make me feel like s*** about it. They constantly bring my age up to prove that since I’m young I should remember everything. Then they get annoyed and curse at me when I start crying and go into a silent panic attack.

I feel like s*** and an absolute retard when I already lose something but they just add more onto the pain where I don’t even cry in front of them but once I’m alone, I let it all out.

The sobbing, the screams, the begs for help. I something’s even bang my head into my wall just to punish myself for being a dumbass.

I’ve distanced myself from them and I’ve voided my love for certain family members and now I just act.
Honestly I feel like I could win an Oscar because they think I’m stable child but I just want to see this world be destroyed and kill myself with it along with kill others.

Well I just hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and enjoys the new decade, I don’t do resolutions anymore because no change comes out of them.

I’m still the pathetic p************ my family label me as.