My brain is sucking so bad right now. I’m very suicidal and have been trying to overdose on my ADHD pills for a few weeks now but it doesn’t work. All they do is make me MORE restless and makes it so I can’t sleep so for about two weeks I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep. My most recent hyper fixation is slasher killers and when I do sleep I have weird half-awake dreams where they talk to me and tell me things like “I was murdered in my sleep and don’t have to wake up” or make me feel like the killer is a part of my brain somehow. It’s never a specific slasher, sort of a faceless fusion of them all. The worst part is that while I’m half-asleep I really believe these things, what if the next time I wake up I don’t realize it was a dream and start thinking I’m crazy? I feel very paranoid but the narcissistic part of my brain is telling me that I’m just being paranoid and I can’t be going crazy cause I’d be able to see the signs (I’m a psychology student so I know a lot about mental disorders). The two sides are clashing and making me more paranoid but I have nobody to talk to about this. God I wish the pills would just kill me already.