people are disgusting, im so tired of being someone in front of my “friends”. i dont even understand how the f*** these idea of friends work, when at best some of my so called “friends” can be considered acquaintances. feels worse on how i feel at best like as a third party and never a close mate with any of my friends, they say how i mean so much to them but in the end they have choose someone else over me. even now i feel alone and trapped. makes it worse how they want me to sacrifice so much and still be their so called f****** friends, its so f****** ugly and fake makes me want to vomit. i just feel tired, so tired of life itself and these day only feel alive when im doing drugs or partying. honestly i thought i was getting better this year, when i thought i had “friends” but it just revealed people’s s***** nature.f*** i hate people, i hate them all so much just make me want to yell at them for being horrible scum.