Almost a year ago I ended my friendship with my best friend of two years. It was mainly because lines had been crossed and my trust in him was gone. At

6 years

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Almost a year ago I ended my friendship with my best friend of two years. It was mainly because lines had been crossed and my trust in him was gone. At the time when I ended things, I just felt fucked over and hurt. I’ll admit the first few months were some of the most painful and challenging I’ve ever had to face. From going from telling him everything and talking every hour of the day to complete radio silence, was pure hell on the earth for me. But since then I’ve had a lot of time for self reflection and growth, even as hard as it was, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Looking back at it now, I needed that time to take care of myself and do some self discovery. He ended up texting me a few months later, asking how I was doing or some s*** like that, I didn’t respond because I was still angry. Up until Monday, I hadn’t heard anything more. Surprisingly enough when I saw that notification, I didn’t have the urge to just throw my phone at brick wall. Is it weird that I just don’t give a s*** anymore, nor do I have the time for this? A majority of my hurt and anger that I had towards him has faded. I can honestly say that I have no feelings of ill will towards him and only have nothing but love and respect for the guy. Yet I have no desire to ever pursue any kind of relationship with him again. I feel like I’ve moved on with my life whereas maybe he hasn’t. Do I ignore him? Do I not ?

New Confession

After my dad passed away me and my mother took a trip back to Ohio so I could drop her off at her sister’s house.. I got to saint louis missouri and we couldn’t find a hotel to say at so I pull over in a rest area and parked in the back. We both got in the back of the van and fell asleep. I woke up wet so I opened up the back of the van and took all my clothes off. I woke up my mother and she did the same. She laid back down and I got in behind her and I got a hard on. My mother put her hand back behind her and knew I had one. I started playing with her t*** and then her c***. She said I don’t think we should be doing this
I told her that both of us needed this. She rolled over on her back and I got on top of her and she put me inside her. I started off slow and then fast. I could tell she was c******. Then again and then again. That’s when I put myself really deep inside her and came. It felt so good c****** inside her. We talked about it the rest of the way and said that we should do it more when she comes back home. And then she tells me that dad and her knew about the guy up the street making movies with me and his daughter. I didn’t think any one knew about that. There was even times that me and him had s**. I would s*** him off and he did the same to me. Mostly it was me and his daughter having s**. Mom said that her and dad would watch us. They were looking thru holes in the wall and after he was done mom and dad had s** with the wife and him. Mom said that she has all the tapes. I said even the ones that me and him having s**
She said yes and the ones of you and he’s wife. She said that dad help him sell a lot of them to people. Mom said she had copies of all of them. She would show me were they are when she comes home. I played a couple of them and she had all of them. Even ones with mom and dad having s** with them. Mom asked me if I enjoyed being with him. I told her yes I did. It was fun sucking him off and him c****** I’m my mouth. He did c** a lot. They moved away and mom and dad never saw them again.

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today has been an awful day. I won’t go into the full specifics but I feel like a failure for the actions of others and how they harmed me professionally and mentally. It came to a head when an act of kindness from one person nearly became a guilt they would carry. a lady stopped so I could cross the road. she had the right of way and didn’t have to stop. but she did. the person behind her whipped onto the shoulder of the road and around her nearly hitting me. had I walked faster, had i not been watching one persons act of kindness would have been a guilt that weighed on them. The worst part is I am not sure if am upset at the impatience of the person who nearly hit me, or disappointed I didn’t move faster.