I was best friends with a girl from 3 to 13. We did everything together, dressing up, playing with Barbies, swimming, watching movies, snowball fights, etc. We were like Ying & Yang, Lucy and Ethel, she was literally my soul sister, and I thought nothing would ever change that. She was also friends with another girl who made it very clear she didn’t like me. Everything had to be about them according to her and always told me to stay out of the way. At first my friend stood up for and always said “If she goes, then I go too”, she never argued with her, knowing if she did she would lose her. Slowly things changed between us, she started judging how I dress or how I looked by saying “You’re not really gonna wear that are you?” or “What are people going to think of you looking like that next to me?” I would change my clothes or my hair if she didn’t like how I looked. People at school started telling me that how she was treating me was not okay and that I should stop being friends with her. I ignored everyone, telling them they didn’t know what they were talking about and that it wasn’t true. But, it was. Middle School started and that’s when she started hanging out with the “Snobs”. I told her she shouldn’t be friends with girls like, she told me “Don’t tell me what to do!”. I couldn’t tell her what to do, but I let her do it to be. The summer before 7th grade she called me and asked if I wanted to come over to her house and swim. I put on my bathing suit, grabbed my towel, and told my dad I was going over to her house (She lived in my neighborhood). I came over, rang her doorbell, she opened the door and just stared at me. I said “Are you ready?” She said “For what?” I said “To go swimming, should I meet you in the back?” She said “I didn’t invite you to come swimming.” I said “You just called me to come over.” She said “No I didn’t, why would I do that.” I just stared at her and said “Well, since I’m here how about we go in the back and swim?” She said “First you assumed I invited you over now you’re suggesting we go swimming in my pool, that’s really rude of you.” Again I stared at her couldn’t believe what she was saying to me. She said “I think it’s time you go home, Now!” I was speechless, and then I said “Okay.” As i was walking away from her door she said “Call me tomorrow Bestie, we’ll do something together, Love You!” And she closed the door. Confused I started walking away when I heard giggling. I looked around and didn’t see anything. Then I looked up and saw two of her friends looking out her bedroom window laughing and pointing at me. I walked home my dad asked why I was home already and I lied and said my friends couldn’t play anymore. He believed me, I went upstairs to my room, locked the door, laid on my bed, and cried. Once 7th grade started, I wasn’t hanging out with her as much As the year went on I started seeing less and less of her, but I still thought we were friends. Even after what happened over, I forgave her, though she never said was sorry for what happened. It was a few weeks before the end of the year and my sister was having a pool party. I asked her if I could invite some people over and she said yes, but only a few. I gave to girls in my class an invitation, I didn’t give one to my friend because she told me over the years not to because she already knew where I lived. I would just give her the date and time. She never had a problem with it, until that day. The day before the last day of school we were walking there with her two friends. All of a sudden she turned to me and said “You know, I never got an invitation to the pool party?” I said “What are you talking about, I gave you the date and time.” She said ” So everyone else gets an invitation except me?!” She started to get angry and I said “You told me you didn’t want me to give you an invitation anymore, you said you just wanted the date and time from now on!” We got into a huge fight while her two friends stood there and just watched. She ended the fight by saying “I can’t believe I’m friends with a Selfish B****!” I just stood there and stared at her, couldn’t believe what she just called me. She did a lot and said a lot of things to me, but never did I thing she would call me a B****. Before I could say anything she said “You know what, I’m done talking to you, find someone else to walk to school with and eat lunch with in the cafeteria because it won’t be me ever again!” As she turned to walk away, she looked at her friends and said “Well, are you two coming with me or staying with her, which is it?” They both looked at each other and started following her. I was left there alone, not knowing I would be for the rest of middle school and high school. The pool party happened later that summer, my two classmates didn’t show up or call. I want to think she had something to do with it, but I’ll never know. Then when I least expected it she showed up at the party after she made it apparent that she wasn’t coming. I walked over to her and said “What are you doing here?” She said “You invited me, remember?” Acting like nothing ever happened. I finally said to myself I can’t do this anymore. Before I could tell her she said “Could we maybe go for a walk and talk?” I didn’t want to, but I knew it was my only chance to tell her I didn’t want to do this anymore. We started walking around the neighborhood, it felt like old times, when we were young and would do anything for each other. She said “I-, I cut her off and said “No, It’s my turn to talk now.” For once she didn’t argue with me and told me to go ahead. I didn’t prepare my self for this, so I just started from the beginning. I said “I don’t know what’s happened between us, you and I did everything and were always there for each other and all you’ve done for that last couple years is treat me like dirt along with your stupid friends. I want to know why, why after everything we’ve been through have you been ruining our friendship?” She couldn’t look at me or say anything. I was about to walk away and go home when she said “Because you let me.” I looked at her and thought she was right, I let her be right about a lot of things, but this time she was actually right. I had plenty of opportunities to end our friendship, to cut her out of my life, but I didn’t cause I didn’t want to lose her. She said “I’m sorry.” She mean’t it, for the first time in a long time she mean’t it. I said “I forgive you, but I can’t be friends with you anymore, you and I both know that.” She told me she agreed and that was the last time I really talked to her. I still saw her at school and in high school, we never spoke and we both realized our time was over , and that was okay. I 24 now and haven’t seen her since graduation, I believe she still lives in my neighborhood, I don’t know what she’s up to and it’s better that way. Some of you reading this may be thinking I shouldn’t have forgiven her or I should’ve did something awful to her back, but I wasn’t going to, because I knew it would never solve anything. I didn’t forgive her for her, I did it for me, I knew if I didn’t we wouldn’t be able to move on with our lives, that’s why I did it. The hardest thing has been forgiving myself, for not ending it sooner than I should’ve . Some of you may be thinking I shouldn’t be hard on myself because I did the right thing. I know I did the right thing and always will know I did, but I can’t help thinking what my life could’ve been like if I ended it sooner. That I will always regret. I now know our relationship was toxic and that it had been longer than I thought.

What I’m trying to say with my own experience is if you have a friendship like to one I had, end it now. Don’t wait as long as I did, don’t think it will get better, don’t let that person make you think you’re not good enough. I may regret not ending it sooner, but I will always be relieved when I said goodbye to our “Friendship.’