I’m really really at the end of my emotional rope. I’m working at a job I hate and have constant fear of being fired. I’ve been fired from this company before. About 5 years ago my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. He lasted 9 months before he passed. On the same day I found out I was let go with 2 weeks notice at 9am and my dad had 2-3 weeks left to live at 12pm. That was the worst day of my life and I’m feeling myself in the same emotional state. I’m putting zero value on my life and I fantasize about my own death. The sweet day when I eyes don’t open in the morning. No after life, no existence. Just the sweet bliss of nothing. I’m very introverted and don’t have any close friends to talk to. Tried to connect with some close family members when I felt the depression signs coming but they are all busy with their own lives. I’m not faulting them or anything, I’m just realizing I’m alone.

Not expecting this to be read or responded to, I just wanted to put these thoughts on paper…. posted.