I seriously hope some of your hate doesn’t stem From the fact that I am bi. Please understand there is a difference between thinking someone is pretty and wanting a relationship with them I wasn’t no way asking or wanting that And honestly even more so no after getting to know you I didn’t think that that would be such an issue in terms of still being able to call me a friend I’m really sorry that you feel that way and I totally understand . I’m just Not used to that type of thing . I know that’s one big concern that you had . And I’m really sorry that I just couldn’t accept the gift of your boyfriends p****. I do find men attractive too but in no way do I want a strange man touching me I’m not comfortable, Certainly not after the childhood for s***** abuse I’m sure you can understand . Nobody ever called r*** I just don’t want strange men touching me or exposing their wares . I’m really surprised I thought you of all people would be understanding of that but that’s OK . I’m just talking to myself right now I don’t even think anybody’s here that I know just trolls . But yeah sadly I feel like that plays a big part in this so I guess a friendship would never be were able to work out anyway I am what I am and if somebody couldn’t except that I mean they couldn’t you’re certainly entitled to your opinion about it though I really hope things don’t have to and with heat I’m really grateful for what you tried to do I still have a picture of the cake It was so kind and I’m so appreciative and I really have tried my best not to bother you that’s why I don’t reach out because I know that you had moved on and I’m sorry about all of this now things just went downhill after the dog thank you for being so understanding . I know I can’t reach out now I know you don’t care and I know that there’s nowhere to no one to really talk to but that’s OK I’m sorry to bother you now I think I’m just at this point we need anything trying to just make it through for the little dog . I’m really sad we won’t ever be able to talk again I guess I really was hoping we could but I’m like I said if I would’ve known that even sending a text would’ve set you so bad that you run to my parents I certainly would’ve done it I really do miss her and from you though and I hope you’re doing good and honestly I do know that you want me to stay away don’t worry about that just kind of trying to bide my time I’m talking to myself right now it’s OK to let go for you too you’re gonna find somebody else to torture . But I’m yeah God bless you and I am I’m just probably going to talk to myself divide my time don’t pay any mind to me of course I would like to like ask someone for help or pick up a phone but there’s just there’s nowhere to run or scream to war and it is what it is it’s just how it ended up that’s nobody’s problem I’m good i’m sorry if I was negative today I just was wanted to kind of tell you what happened I hope I didn’t scare you I just wanted to tell you what happened or whatever I don’t really understand why everybody wants to shame me about being 41 when that’s really the only thing I have to hide the fact that I’m old and pathetic but OK I guess sorry to him that he didn’t get the nice picture of t*** he was hoping for I mean but come on at my age I mean that’s kind of a disappointment I mean it would just be like like to shriveled reasons I’m sure what you could offer him would be much better but I’m anyway I know you don’t care when you hear for me but I really am grateful for everything and you don’t need to make any nasty comments I already know what’s in your heart and how you feel and that’s fine it’s just talking to myself it’s just a way to kind of keep going as long as I need to oh him I hope I didn’t upset you again by calling I know I didn’t ask I know that I was told you absolutely didn’t want that but I don’t know my parents started on me too it wasn’t really my right mind but anyway I hope you have a good night and I am I love you and God bless you and I always wish you good things and I’m just gonna look for another place and like I said just please ignore my little ramblings for now it keeps me sane I would love to have thought if I would’ve called you earlier they would’ve talk to me but I don’t think so so there’s probably nothing to beat myself up but up about for that there was probably no way you’re ever going to answer the phone that’s OK though I’m I love you have a good night God bless and like I said just thanks again seriously