If one more goddamn person tells me I’m lucky that I have something I’m going to punch them in the face. I don’t want this f****** money I want to woman that raised me back she’s the only one that ever give a damn. I don’t want this f****** job I have to be fake all day and breakdown at night on my own. This stupid friends where I have to distance myself if I have a mood swing which is pretty much often but I have to stay away from people until I feel normal again because if I ever ever ever tell somebody how I feel I won’t have a friend anymore. Same with dating … tired of this. Nothing will make me normal nothing will take this away. I can’t do it anymore . No one will ever be able to love or accept this . I can’t . And I’m tired of putting on a show . I want to cut burn myself throw a toaster in the bathtub make it f****** stop please .