I just realized that I may have been groomed by an adult back when I was 13/14.

He was teaching me to draw, and he started off by teaching me how to draw lolis.
Which he justifies by saying it’ll be easier to learn to scale up proportions than scale them down. But I’m pretty sure he just gets off to it.

He also regularly links me h***** as references for drawing, instead of you know, normal art? that isn’t explicitly p***? Again he justifies it by saying it’s good for learning poses, but surely there are far better resources for finding good poses. Oh and yes the hentais are also about lolis most of the time.

And the cherry on top is that when we rp with our ocs, he would r*** my 13 year old oc and would always insist that I do N*** rps with him. The only reason I don’t do it is simply because I was using a family pc at the time so I couldn’t exactly do N*** rps without getting caught. (Somehow I managed to get away in looking at h***** he sent on it though lmao idk how I managed that) Nowadays I feel like if I did do those N*** rps, it would probably escalate into something even worse.

I’m 18 now. All these repressed memories just kinda flooded back and I am uncomfortable with it. I don’t even know if you can count that as grooming? But every interaction with him is always weirdly s***** somehow now that I’m fully grasping what happened.