To the embezzler response person with the partner who doesn’t live in the US (I wish I had a shorter name for you! haha), I really appreciate your responses. They really have made me think…. so many people on this site just talk s***, never did anything with their lives, and live to troll on the internet anonymously (I seriously believe the internet is horrible socially for human beings). So, I appreciate you taking the time to respond with your true thoughts about my situation.
I go thru phases like I am now, feelings of guilt, self doubt, etc. Other times I’m happy and don’t care about what I’m doing. I really haven’t hurt anyone by doing what I’m doing other than the owner of the company I work for. So he’d have a few more million dollars in his bank account? It’s a drop in his bucket. However, in my bucket, it’s a different story. It’s allowed me to live like a king. But at what price? The drug addiction is a double edge sword. If I quit, I won’t have the balls to continue stealing and my anxiety would destroy me. When I’m high I feel nothing and I can continue embezzling. A few weeks ago I deposited $117,000 into my bank account. Right now I have $11,000 in my account. I spend it faster than I steal it. What’s the point in saving when I know I’m either going to get caught and go to prison, or get caught and I kill myself? I figure I might as well enjoy it. But like I said, I never imagined it would still be going on 20 years later.
I know I’m rambling but I just took my morning dose of 90mg of adderrall and 30mg of Percocet. This is the best I will feel all day. The rest of the day I will be in a complete fog.
My two older brothers look up to me and think I have the greatest life ever. I have the hot, ex stripper girlfriend who now sells real estate, another girlfriend on the side whom I take care of (they don’t know about her) that I spend roughly 200k per year on, the cars, the nice homes…but like I mentioned before, they don’t know about the drugs, the hookers, the stealing…. I wish I could’ve just lived a normal life. I make a decent salary. Last year I made 72k legitimately (and 1.1 million dishonesty). I can pretty much guarantee this will end badly. But it’s nice to be able to get this off my chest… even if it is anonymously
