Actually, I’m talking about male friends I met 30 years ago, actually thinking about it maybe closer to 35 years ago. Buddies

I expect a certain level of respect and loyalty from someone I knew when I was 11. I don’t want to talk like that, I hate saying that “loyalty and respect” it sounds like some big shot b******* drug lord or something, a gang leader, and it might have had to do with a woman, she was responsible, but at the same time, I don’t expect much from her (hahahah, I should never have expected anything good TBH).

There is not a single woman from my past I feel anything for today TBH. There is no hope and I program myself (quite literally) to forget it, it’s impossible, and any woman from my past who I run into, or who chases me down in their vehicle trying to bring me to a stop knows…. you’re looking at a hopeless no go here. That’s nothing, I’m hurt that I got played like a fool by guys who should have had my f****** back. Not sneak around, like I said giving ammunition to f****** idiots who used it to cause me a lot of stress, on top of what I had. Plenty of weight.

I’m saying those people are done. Even though I personally have been walking away for 20 years anyway. Trying to.