Ok so this might get triggering just a warning. When I was younger my mom would abuse me physically,mentally,and emotionally. All I ever wanted to do was run away and never look back but I couldn’t. I did however end up in foster care for eight years of my life. That was just as bad as living with my mother and I couldn’t escape it. I always feel trapped. And so I started being more closed off. Walls were everywhere in my mind if ever let them down I would crumble to pieces with it. I started to develop loads of disorders and I still have them and always will. I also started harming myself and that wasn’t even for coping it was just because of anger. I felt so angry and wanted to hurt other people , but I couldn’t do that so I hurt myself instead. And then all of a sudden I went back home to my mom about a year ago it was actually. And my mom didn’t even recognize me anymore. Fast forward a few months into school I found someone I loved. So then for once in a long a** time I was happy. So happy I decided to give my mom a second chance. I told her who I really was. I came out as a transgender male and told her I was bi. She flipped her s*** and all I had left now was that one person I loved so dearly he was my everything. Until I became his nothing. One day I went to text him as usual and before I even started typing I got a text saying ‘can we be just friends.’ I didn’t respond and instead had a panic attack grabbed a razor and started to hurt myself. I fell into a deep depression and stopped believing in god. I still don’t believe. I felt like nothing. And then one day my dad who I love so very much found out about my self harm. He had a mental break down over the phone and turned to alcohol agian.(he used to be an alcoholic but stopped) and that hurt me so bad so I don’t self harm any more. But anyways I was devistated. All I felt I had was my music. That’s the only thing that’s kept me going my whole life. But because my dad found out and I had to go to a mental place. And there me being me trying to get over my ex I started hanging out with this edgy dude with a frick ton of piercings long story short he was my first kiss and he broke my heart for the second time in a year. But this time I felt free as heck I had friends.
But I was still sorta sad but this time I told myself “I’m done with these b******”. Then I started music up agian and ngl Im hella good. And it felt great to finally be doing what I really loved most in this world. And here I am a few months later my dad is getting better and I’m a gay a** 14 year old about to start highschool and I didn’t even tell you the fucked up parts of my story.
