I’m sorry HJ. I know that sometimes, even if I want it, I don’t give the best of myself, especially these days. I really want to see you, but fighting against myself everyday is not always easy. Sometimes my lazy side wins, but I want to be better than that. For me, but mostly for you.
These days I don’t feel like I deserve you, so I’ll have to try even harder to beat this wrong side of me. It’s not like I don’t do anything but I don’t do the important things. Maybe because they’re not directly related to you ? I don’t know, but I know that I never stopped to do the things which are related to you, so…maybe.
It feels like I’m searching to excuse my laziness… No, it is not good, I’m sorry HJ, and I will try harder for you, I promise.