I will be committing suicide in the near future. I am 60 years old, in a loveless marriage, have no job, no opportunities and no hope. Goodbye.

7 years

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New Confession

I miss being a Teen in the early 2000s used to have sleep overs at my house in my basement room, we had a finished basement it was all open I had a big king sized bed and a large leather couch in front of a large tv, my friends would come over and then late at night we stripped naked and watched pornos be like 3 or 4 of us on my couch masterbating and see who cums the fastest.

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I repent for blasphemy against holy spirit disbelieving somethings in bible sry but im still struggling with some things but i beilueve he exists anx mlst the bible. I still think some things are not great advice or many parts are contradictory. I believe jesus exists does for ours sins & the Trinidadian thing etc etc it’s just a couple small things in bible that I get stuck on I also disbelieve he can hear me pray. It’s not bc I don’t believe he hears anyone’s prayers or bc satan is whispering lies telling me Jesus can’t hear me etc it’s just feels like I’ve been praying on my knees for long time and many things never got better in 2 years I actually feel worse in life and faith then i did 2 years ago. But I do read the bible more/bible studies. Can’t get myself to pray very much these days. I used to pray 2 to 3 times a day now I just feel like.. just nothingness when I pray been like that for like a year