He was just a close friend to me started from last year. This year, he confessed his feeling to me. I still remembered it was my first time wearing a red dress confidently. I was so happy on that day because it was the first day of Chinese New Year. He came for my open house at 7pm something with his friends. He was quite drunk. I can smell alcohol from him. He told me he was sober. After he went home, he asked me if i want to go to the next level with him. Well, i did say yes. Started from that day, he was not just my close friend, he is my sunshine, my man, my driver,… my teacher? I dont really remember.
One day,
I caused a scene that caused him mad.
I apologised.
I then gave him space. A lot of space. For himself, his family, his friends.
After that we dont talk to each other anymore.
We were classmates. He was one of my deskmate. I had 4 deskmates, alright? Lol.
One day,
He was murmuring, I can hear it clearly. “It wasn’t love.” I heard that.
That was after 1 month of silent between us.
This kind of relationship got me lost control. I was so heart broken. How can a person Changed so drastically?
2 months later. He asked for a break. He said he can’t give comitments anymore. I cried. Bitterly. It was 12/4/2019. I still can remembered the date.
But i told him to postponed his request, i got things to settle first.

This is too childish for me. Postponed? Lol i guess i was out of my mind.

And from that day, neither a friend or a foe, he is nobody to me. I set that in my mind.

What should I do? All those memories still lingering on my mind. I quit on my school and decided to further study in other school. Guess what, he never ask me abt that.

I expected him to care abt my leaving, seems like i am the one who still dont get what is real break up is.

I should wake up now. The more I think abt him, the more I feel pain. I wanted to forget abt him. But all those memories keep lingering. I hate this so much.

I got lots of things to tell. But most of the epic and confusing parts, i cut it all. So it will be like i am the one who did wrong, i am the one who still cant move on.