if i just wait a little bit maybe it’ll stop hurting. I thought if i’m not your partner at least i was your “special friend,” if i wasn’t that then i was at least your friend, but am i even that? When you reach for me, is it because there’s no one else there? Not because you actually want me around? How come I’m the only one that feels this way. Nothing of ours was sacred, nothing we shared was special, our memories together are interchangeable with others for you. Why did you come back after all that time, why did you remember me, if this is all you wanted to do. Did you ever consider how you returning might make me feel? Or did your conscience get too heavy for you and did the booze give you courage to come back, to have the confidence to use me? I know why you never include me now, while every one else is an experience to you i’m just something to fill time with. I want it to stop, I thought I had it under control, i went days, weeks without this pit in me, and there you go reminding me just how far on the back burner I am. It’s not even the fact that you dangled “I love you” right on those lips you kissed me with, it’s the fact that I’m not even really your friend. I can’t make you want to be my friend. I can’t make you like me, and you’ll go searching in everyone what you want to find, except in me.