I’m still a teenageer, and I know I probably shouldn’t be worrying about this, but my boyfriend is older than me and we really love eachother. He wants to have kids with me and get married one day, and I don’t want any kids and I don’t want to get married. I’ve never wanted to do either of those things. It scares me to the point that I can have a panic attack just thinking about it and what could happen in the future. I’m so depressed anready and I know thinking the way I do does not help at all. I wish I could change the way I feel, but I can’t. I’ve tried. I start crying everytime I think about having kids, because I don’t want them to turn out anything like me. I don’t want to go through the pregnancy. I’m so fucked up , and it runs in my family. I don’t want my kid to ever feel the way that I do, and if they do I’ll always blame myself. I know this is stupid, i’m stupid, but its been stuck in my mind for a long time. Sorry for wasting everyones time.