7 years
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I think I’m going crazy. I keep hearing voices in my head and I can’t tell if they’re mine or not or even if I’m just pretending. I keep having panic attacks because sometimes I’ll suddenly feel like “none of this is real and I want out”. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and tell myself that that’s not my face. It comes out of nowhere. Currently I’m sobbing in the bathtub. I sometimes feel I want to off myself but my family has saved up so much money just so I can go to college and I owe it to them to keep living. I don’t want to tell anyone, they’ll think I’m mad and I think they might want to have me committed somewhere. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I wish I could just stop existing without hurting anyone.

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I have to admit that I love to flash my c*** to adult women, of any age actually. I flash my c*** in my car, on webcams or in hotel windows overlooking parking lots or beaches like in Florida. My c*** is slightly larger than “average” but certainly not huge. Two women have told me that my c*** is really hard. I believe that several women have seen me though none have reported me and that’s a good thing.

One time in Florida I was laying on the lounge with my c*** surreptiously sticking out the side. Across the deck was a beautiful black haired lady in a bikini. She had really b*******. She was wearing sunglasses and getting some sun. Her lounge was slightly elevated but I couldn’t tell if her eyes were open. If they were she would have seen my c*** which of course was really exciting me. We were like that for about 15 minutes when another lady approached her and said something. She sat up, raised her glasses and took a clear look at me. She then lowered her glasses and resumed her position. She didn’t do or say anything. The only thing she did was bend her knee blocking my view between her legs. I didn’t trust the other lady so I left right away. That lady really took it in stride. I often wonder if she was offended, neutral or excited.

One night I was cruising with my c*** in my hand looking for a flashing opportunity. Up ahead was a girl hitchiking. She was wearing a loose dress from what I could see in the headlights and she was perfect. I decided to offer her a ride with my c*** out. If she got in, great and if she did not that was cool. I pulled up beside her and she opened the door. When that happened the interior light came on. She could see my c*** but I was so excited that c** exploded out of my c***. It happened so fast that I reached over, closed the door and took off.

I often wonder what she thought. Oh yeah, I also j******* to those memories.