I’m a normal, well-adjusted and reasonably popular 16-year-old girl, but looking back, I’m starting to realize how much of a perv I was as a kid. When I was around 7, I was swimming in my local pool where there are some small jets beneath the water at roughly crotch-level if I propped my elbows on the pool’s edge. I was fiddling around with a couple pebbles above the water when I noticed the jet basically blasting at my crotch. The deeper I went into thought, the better the jet felt. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I knew it felt nice.
Basically, my first-ever m*********** experience was at age 7 with a public pool jet.
I began going to that spot by the jet more often to achieve that indescribable feeling again, but my parents would only take me and my younger sister to the pool on weekends. Pretty soon I tried replicating the “feeling” with my own fingers in bed. Problem was, we were broke as s*** and I had to share a bed with my sister. I had no idea what I was doing or what the practice was called, and yet I still knew I’d be totally embarrassed if my sister caught me doing it, so I tried to be as discreet as possible, and as far away from her side of the bed as I could get. She started complaining about the bed shaking, so I realized this wasn’t gonna work if I really wanted to get that “feeling.” I tried doing it sitting on the toilet, but that just wasn’t doing anything for me.
You thought that was fucked up? I didn’t even get into some of the thoughts I had that would give me that “feeling,” being totally unaware of how s** works.
I went through just about every fucked up, cringy fetish in the book before I even hit my teens. Self-degrading thoughts did the trick when I first started doing it, as did…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…thoughts about vore. As I became more aware of s***** stuff, things like B*** – female dominance first got me off, then a switch went off in my weird preteen mind and I developed a thing for male dominance instead – and non-consensual s*** between older men and younger girls. I had no appreciation for how utterly fucked up some of these fetishes were. None of this s*** does anything for me anymore, and my s** life has been pleasantly vanilla thus far.
Still, I think my pervy past is what makes me cringe especially hard when I hear about people still into that kind of s***. It makes me super uncomfortable to think about, but it’s good to get it off my chest.
inb4 pedophiles start calling this “hot”.
