If I had a little nine year old daughter, I’d make her model all of her clothes for me until I found the perfect outfit– then I’d have her wear it. I’d then do her hair however I wanted it. I’d have her put on some strawberry scent, and in the outfit and hairstyle I’d have her strut around the house like a model while she– constantly giggling– made jokes about how stupid and fat and ugly I am, and how she doesn’t have to listen to me anymore– because she knows my secret now.