I’m friends with a guy, and that’s all we are – friends, but I’ve been talking with him for a while now, and sometimes it does feel like we’re more than that.

I don’t necessarily think that’s something I want us to be – I mean, part of the reason I can be so relaxed speaking with him is because he’s in a relationship with someone else. It just makes everything so much less awkward. I don’t have to worry about his intentions, or if something has some secret meaning that I’m supposed to tease out (then again – he is a guy, and from experience the tend to be pretty straight forward. It’s the females that like to play the mind games). We can just…be. We can talk, and laugh, and have a good time – and that’s phenomenal. I love that. I don’t want that to go away.

A couple of days ago though, things got slightly weird. He was a bit drugged up on anti-allergy meds and he kind of said some things that I’m not too sure if he meant. And I know he realized that he said some things he shouldn’t have. He kind of paused and quickly left the conversation, saying he needed to take a nap to get his head on straight before he said some things he didn’t mean.

Now – I hardly ever take the things he says seriously. We joke around all the time about a myriad of things, and I totally would have brushed his comments off without a second thought. Except, he had to make it seem like it was something else, and it made me think about it. Which you know in a girl means that she’s going to be stewing on it for days.

Now there’s this awkward thing between us that I don’t want to be there. It’s like the slight spark our friendship had is smothered, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I should bring it up and just mention that I know he didn’t mean what he said – and it’s okay, and I don’t care. Or if I should just ignore it completely and hope things go back to what they were.

Do I like him? Yeah, kind of. I like him as a friend for sure, and some days I feel a little more, but I am also VERY aware he has a girlfriend, and they’ve been together for…almost 5 years I believe. I have no problem with that, and I would NEVER think about screwing that thing up. But I don’t want him to even want to mess the thing he has up for me either. Even if we both genuinely really liked each other, I don’t think I could go through with anything. His girlfriend is a genuinely nice person, and I like her. And I think that maybe if he’s starting to feel or think certain things about me, that I should just leave the situation and remove the temptation.

Do I partially love that he might feel something ‘more’ for me? Absolutely. But I hate it too – because I don’t want to be the reason he makes a decision he’ll regret. So maybe it’s best if we just part ways now.