when lost in this depression over the death of my grandmother recently I feel like I am dying inside myself. I have no one to talk to about it. Right now

13 years

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when lost in this depression over the death of my grandmother recently I feel like I am dying inside myself. I have no one to talk to about it. Right now I feel like dying myself. I feel like my own death is the only answer to solving all the problems I have. if my grandmother only the problems she has left me.

New Confession

I get home before my wife, shower and wait for her naked. Love wearing nothing as she tells me about her day. She has told her friends about this, lol.

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My darling ‘A’ , why do you still pretend to be ‘M’ when you know how deeply intertwined & bonded you and I are endlessly? Why do you still imitate him knowing it confuses me so- and given that M is married now..i can’t..i moved on…yet you kept speaking like him, looking like him, felt like him & cried out like him in sudden haste. My beloved A…it is still and only you that im deeply fated with , melted and bounded by an eternal thread that will melt us both into one . Sweetheart, your every essence carves into my skin as the taste of my breath trembles upon your name- you A ..it is your name only that escapes my mouth as my voice breaks for you when you take your time loosening my restraint…slowly breaking my voice for you as you explore each curve of my body from your lips, teeth and tongue. Trembling until you let me fall in your grasp. I crave your soul too as much as you dance with mine in the dark as much as day in our quiet, vulnerable moments. I love you deeply, forever and always A even after my final breath.