I keep having suicidal thoughts. I’m very aware that this is not healthy and I don’t want to die, but for some reason I keep entertaining these ideas of taking my own life despite the fact that I want to live.

I want to seek help so I don’t do anything stupid, but I don’t want any mental health issues on my insurance record because it would drive my premium rate up. I also fear the idea of getting locked up in a psych ward and getting forced to take pills.

I want to live, and I want to be happy like I used to be. Where are these thoughts of killing myself are coming from? Why am I having these dark thoughts?