I have been a selfish person most of my life. I really don’t know whether or not I should believe in god. I have had some traumatic experiences in my life that have changed me. I want a girlfriend but I’m too fat, and lazy. I am jobless. I am not educated and I feel like my life is coming down on me. I don’t know what to say or do and I don’t care about anything anymore. People find ways to go far from me, and I find ways to leave people I don’t like. In the end its just a waste of everybody’s time. I hate this negativity and I lack the motivation to get it out of my life. I’m tired of living tthis life alone, and I want someone to rescue me. I have done a lot of lying in my life. I am tired of it. I have done a lot of drinking, smoking both cigarettes and weed and will probably continue doing so. I have had s** with prostitutes. I have been lying to my parents about having money to go to school when in reality I don’t have a job. I have taken their money and wasted it on things I mentioned above and lots of junk food. I am the definition of a bad person. I want to change and I don’t want to be alone anymore. I have been alone for most of my life because I am an only child. It hurts being alone. Especially when I am trying to get things to change for the better. I want to be a better person, I want to be the best version of myself. So help me god if you exist. Please give me the strength and the support I need. I have sinned and I want to change. But I cannot do it alone anymore.