Lung cancer turns me on…it’s weird I know. I go visit my ex girlfriends mom in the VA because she has lung cancer. She’s actually still very attractive looking and very skinny and dark dark tan.. she’s only 49 ..she seems too young to die but she’s smoking non stop since she was 13. She’s only about 18 almost 19 years older than me and frankly I have a crush on her.. we talk about her daughter who dumped me and moved off to Dallas, Texas a lot.. she never gets to see her anymore… and she’s divorced now and all alone… I’ve been all alone since her daughter dumbed me over 5 years ago and I haven’t been able to sleep with a woman since then… so I’ve taken it upon myself to spend time with her mom since no one else is… I feel bad because I’m still a smoker and I She begs me to give her cigarettes so I have to sneak her outside to smoke a cigarette .. it makes me feel very close to her mom…

I kinda fantasize about climbing into the hospital bed with her mom but there are so many tubes and wires everywhere