I want to explain a common thing I see on this site. Women with a r*** fantasy are more likely to have suffered from some kind of assault. The fantasy can be a coping strategy to convince oneself that what happened wasn’t traumatizing. It is also more common in women who were raised in neglectful or abusive households, since that distorts the idea of what love is.

Most importantly, women with these fantasies do NOT actually want to be raped. Like others, they feel scared when in situations society has told them are dangerous for women (such as walking alone in the dark), though you are most likely to be raped by someone you know. Personally, s***** assaults and stalkers have traumatized me and I occasionally fantasize about being raped. Yet, when another tried to hurt me in such a way, I fought him off.

For those of you with this problem, know you’re not a freak. The advice I have received is to try to fantasy of a loving relationship every time my mind goes to r*** and to spend time with good friends to relearn what a loving relationship feels like. I imagine this advice would help men suffering from a similar circumstance. Good luck, everyone.