I get this urge to just buy me a v******* and just shove it inside me, mouth or down there, I don’t care. Buying condoms, some good lube and cleaning gel for s** toys too.

After a good while searching, comparing prices and functions (vibration and rotation modes) I get my card and my special wish list full of products. And I just let it sit there. I don’t act on it and kind of forget about it.

It’s always a fun surprise that whenever I shop for other stuff on Amazon and open my shopping cart, it’s sure as hell that I find some random s** toys when I scroll down the list.