Experienced ego death first time last month, and k-holed for the first time 2 days ago. Feeling like I’ve experienced ‘death’ after feeling suicidal for many months and it’s left me dazzled. This past few experiences made me realise how I hate the life I’m living but I love the world I’m living in. Loneliness feels like its slowly killing me more than any drug ever will yet I still find joy in the simplest things in life. Drugs have helped me see clearer, be happier with less, and become stronger. I struggle massively with anxiety as I’m s*** scared of meeting people. These experiences made me realise how ridiculously important it is to form connections to one another and now I am really trying to conquer my fears. Being able to give UNCONDITIONAL love without expecting anything in return is the only personality trait that should truly matter. The only thing harder than that is to love yourself unconditionally… peace.