THIS IS A *KINDA* LOVE STORY.
[Warning:hella long story]
I never told anyone about this bc i honestly find it cheesy but i just want this secret of mine to confess atleast here. Its not really that big deal but it was kinda pretty lol. It started on summer vacation, school ended and nothing to worry about anymore and i know its boring. I started to download this app “tan tan” its like tinder but its a chinese app but english lol. The first time there was boring i chatted with this guy which is interesting and responsive and then one day they didnt reply like wut?.I got bored and didnt use the app.a few days later,it got really bored and couldnt help but to use the app again.i just swipe right all bc its like *chinese,not,chinese,not*i got tired of avoiding the chinese ppl.i got a match and I chatted with this guy who’s younger than me and flirty and i didnt like him while i was chatting with him there’s this one match that I always ignore, he chatted me “hi” and i ignored it bc i thought it was that another boring convos that will end early. Two days later,i got tired chatting with the younger one so i just respond to the other guy “hello” and he immediately respond, and we chatted. He was interesting and responsive,so he was fun.Starting then,we chat everyday,we talked about a lot of things,share our thoughts and interests. We talked about relationships,he is totally opposite of me,he was into relationships and im not (im a bitter person). He’s the first person that chatted with me until 5am and we were really like excited,and he was happy about it. He doesnt flirt with me so he didnt made me feel uncomfortable. We share our problems,and i share mine which was one time i enroll into a new school and it made me nervous bc i have social anxiety and he comforts me and it worked and after i did it,he said “see,i told you you could make it”. He was really comfortable to chat with and we shared memes and laugh about it at late night.That was fun.He was a month older than me and live a bit near (5km maybe). We chatted for a month and few days and after that,things got complicated,he would chat me late and sometimes not at all. He said he was busy and i said i totally understand it. Still there’s times that he was responsive but the next day he doesnt chat again. It kinda gave me a hard time bc im getting attached to him and i hate it,and i always look into my phone to see if he replied and keeps on waiting and when i hear that ringtone,i immediately look into my phone to see if he replied. When he chatted he told me maybe next day or after next day he will probably say goodbye to me bc the summer vacation is almost over and he cant use phone in his school and his mom is strict. I still chatted with him until the days over,that time i wasnt okay and depressed bc of it but it was mixed emotions bc usually i got depression anytime even tho i dont know why and no one knows about my depression. He asked if i am okay,usually i dont have the guts to say i am not okay bc when someone asks me that, i always say i am even tho im not. I respond “im not actually” he said what is it and maybe he could help me,i thought to just say it bc he doesnt really know me personally, i said its bc of my depression and have it for a long time since 7th grade, he said “you should tell your parents about that,they may help you” i was like uhmmm okay thanks.i never talked about it again lol.The next day,he finally said goodbye,it was the last day,he gave me his phone number and fb name and also full name,and said “chat me if you are ready to be in a relationship,ill be ur boyfriend” and i said “sure :)” i just go with it even tho im..not into it, he said “ill wait for you and i will never forget you” “and also dont forget my name” i didnt respond to it to make it short.I exit from the chat box and few minutes later he’s not there anymore means he unmatch me,its okay but weird. After that,i still chatted a few guys but wasnt the same anymore,it was boring. I uninstalled it.It was all now a memory and experience.I hated my self after that bc i got attached to someone and got hurt emotionally and mentally,and im not into that.Ive always wanted my feelings to be stiff af and im always that one person who rolls their eyes when they hear a “love story”but now i am in this.When i hear that ringtone,i look at my phone and think “dont be a s***”.I never look at his fb account and never attempted to text him.I made myself not to care and weeks later,i just suddenly think of him and like “oh yeah that guy” and thought to myself “wow i totally forgot about him weeks ago and i was proud of myself to move on fast.Now,7 months later and i still havent and will never contact him and i forgot his name. I never hated him,its not like that.its just i dont want that memory to go back. If ever you read this which is kinda impossible, uhm pls dont find me lol ? yeah but thanks for all that you were great.